Two of a Kind
by parkrstark
Summary: The one in which Javier is a little too overprotective, Kevin is annoyed and they're both idiots.


**This is a late birthday present to RyspositoWritings. I went to NJCon and didn't get to finish it over the weekend but now it's done. Please enjoy!**

* * *

"Hopefully the boys will find something." Beckett says, staring at their almost blank murder board.

Just as the words leave Beckett's mouth, the elevator doors open with a soft ding. Ryan and Esposito walk out with their perp struggling between them. Neither detective looks happy at all as he complains about being a victim of police brutality.

"LT can you take him to Interrogation?" Esposito asks as they pass him to the uniformed officer. He doesn't wait for a response before pushing the man towards him.

Ryan stalks immediately to his desk, passing by Beckett and Castle without even saying, 'hi'. Castle and Beckett exchange uneasy glances; the Irishman always greeted his teammates no matter if he was gone for a few hours or a few minutes. Esposito must be just as dumbfounded because the irritation on his face is replaced by concern. "You okay, Kev?"

Ryan huffs and sits down in his seat. "I'm fine, Esposito." If the fact that Ryan pretty much _snapped_ at his boyfriend doesn't raise any red flags, the fact that he called him Esposito instead of Javi does.

Castle raises his eyebrows and looks up to see Esposito's reaction. He doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't look offended either, like the writer expected.

"Really? Then can I have a kiss?" Esposito asks, knowing that any other day he wouldn't even have to ask.

Ryan avoids his eyes when he answers, "Maybe later."

Castle knows it's none of his business, but he can't help wondering Esposito did to Ryan that led to the Irishman refusing a kiss. "Did something happen while you two were out?"

Esposito looks over to Ryan, waiting for an answer as well because he feels just as in the dark as Castle and Beckett do. Ryan stays silent for a moment as he holds Esposito's gaze before responding, "No, not at all."

"Okay," Esposito says dubiously. "Anyway," he changes the subject and turns to Beckett. "We saw the boyfriend hanging by the bodega next to his apartment."

Beckett taps her chin and asks, "Does he look like our guy?"

"Well, he ran-," Esposito is interrupted by the sound of a thick file slamming on a desk. Castle, Beckett, and Esposito all turn to stare at Ryan.

Ryan forcefully shoves his chair away from his desk to turn around and face his friends. "I'm not a _child_ , Javier."

Esposito hesitates, trying to figure out where Ryan's outburst came from. "Good thing, too or else I would have been arrested by now."

Castle laughs at the joke that was obviously meant to clear away the tension. Ryan, however, doesn't appreciate it. "I'm not kidding around," he says with a slight huff.

Esposito frowns when he sees the distress in Ryan's stormy, blue eyes. "What's wrong, Kev?"

Ryan's expression softens along with his attitude. "I'm capable of taking care of myself."

Esposito's brow furrows. "I know that...what does that have to do with our scuffle with that prick, though?"

Ryan sighs, like it's obvious. "You tackled him to the ground and dug your knee into his back."

"Yes, I did, right after he shoved _you_ into a freaking bus." He shakes his head quickly, asking in a somewhat angered tone, "Why are you defending him?"

"I'm not," Ryan insists, "I'm defending _myself_."

Beckett looks down at a blank sheet of paper in her hand while discretely following their rising conversation. Castle doesn't even try to hide it as his head flops back and forth between Ryan and Esposito as they continue to argue.

"What are you talking about? _I_ was defending you!" Esposito says, trying to understand what has Ryan upset.

"Just like yesterday when you went off on that guy at the bar?" Ryan raises his eyebrows.

"After he called you he called you a filthy Mick? Are you seriously yelling at me right now for sticking up for you? You're my _partner,_ my _boyfriend_."

Ryan drops his head in his hands and says, "I know, Javi, but I'm just asking for you to let me take care of myself."

Even though his voice is muffled, Castle can tell he's trying to swallow past a lump in his throat. And by the look on Esposito's face, he knows he heard it, too.

"I'm sorry, Kev. I didn't know it bothered you. It just upsets me when people push you around," Esposito admits and while he is sorry for making Ryan feel this way, he isn't sorry for doing what he did and any other time when he may have been a little too overbearing.

"And why do you think they always do that?" Ryan presses, now looking up. His voice isn't near breaking, like it was just seconds earlier; it's strong and almost furious.

"Kev, what-?"

"Because of you!" Ryan shouts, attracting the attention of the nearest detectives. Ryan waits for them to turn their heads away before continuing in a quieter voice, "I'm the weak link in our partnership _and_ in this entire team." He gestures to the four of them.

"Ryan, that's bullshit," Esposito responds immediately as he moves around Castle to stand directly in front of his boyfriend.

"Then why am I always the one they go for, huh?" Ryan asks.

"We all have our own weak spots, Kevin. That's why we have each other's backs." Esposito seems to be giving this speech a lot; the 'making your weakness your strengths' speech.

"I'm just the more obvious choice," Ryan says simply with a shrug of his shoulders.

"That's not-,"

"Just ask Lockwood," Ryan snaps bitterly.

The three go silent after Ryan takes a deep breath. Castle looks at Ryan with poorly masked pity etched all over his face. Beckett looks up from her blank sheet of paper and frowns sympathetically. They all hate that Lockwood still haunts Ryan. Just like the every other cruel and vicious person they've faced that no one on the team will ever be able to forget.

Unlike Castle and Beckett, Esposito doesn't feel sorry for Ryan right now. "Don't you dare! Lockwood was a piece of shit. You're a better man than him and you're _stronger_ than him."

"That's why he chose to torture me, then? Because _I'm stronger_ than him?" Ryan asks incredulously. "Let me tell you something, I didn't feel very strong when he was drowning me."

"You weren't strong?" Esposito repeats, " _You don't think you were strong_? Then tell me what you were because in my opinion, a strong man is a man that doesn't give up any information when he's being mercilessly tortured. He keeps quiet even when he's about to lose his leg for a stupid joke his partner made."

Ryan looks down at his lap and plays with the hem of his waist coat. "All I saw was Lockwood picking on the one that he thought was going to break first."

Esposito shrugs his shoulders. "Then you must have been looking at me."

Ryan looks up again and scrunches his nose. "You'd never break, Javi."

"That night...watching them _do that_ to you...you have no idea how close I was to telling them _everything_."

A brief moment of silent passes over the group again. Both Castle and Beckett feel as if they're intruding on a private moment, but they all know that everything they go through, they wind up sharing with each other whether they planned to or not.

Esposito had hoped that he would change Ryan's mind, but he didn't. "All I'm asking for is for you just to give me some space out there and let me take care of anyone who pushes me around. I'm tired of being the weak one."

"Ryan, how many times-?"

"Just promise me."

Esposito grits his teeth together. How can Ryan expect him to just stand back and watch? That's not how a partnership is supposed to work.

Ryan can read Esposito's mind and the look on his face, so he can sense Esposito's hesitation to promise. " _Javier._ "

Esposito rolls his eyes. "Fine. But, if something goes wrong, I'm going to say 'I told you so'."

"Oh, so you think that I won't be able to handle myself out there, huh?" Ryan shoots back.

"No, that's not what I meant," he corrects himself quickly.

"So what _did you mean_?" Ryan asks angrily, crossing his arms over his chest. Esposito can tell he's trying to look threatening with his glare, but he looks as cute as ever to Esposito.

"What I mean _is_ , you're asking a hell of a lot right now." Esposito sighs impatiently. "My job is not only to protect this city, but also my partner. _That's you_. And you're asking me to back off so you prove a point that doesn't need to be proven. Because _no one thinks you're weak_."

"Then let me fight my own battles."

Ryan and Esposito match each other with narrowed eyes. Esposito glares even harder when he says, "Alright, but this isn't going to lost forever. Probably not even longer than a week."

Ryan opens his mouth to argue back, only to be interrupted by Captain Gates. "May I ask why you four are out here _chatting_ while you have a suspect in Interrogation?"

Beckett stands up, blocking Ryan and Esposito from her view. "I'm sorry, Sir. We were heading in there right now."

Gates nods her head and twirls her glasses in her hands. "Well, it's early and we already have a suspect so please go in and get this done so we can stay ahead with this case."

"Of course, Sir," Beckett says firmly. Satisfied that her team of detectives are going back to work, Gates steps back into her office and shuts the door behind her.

"We'll take him, Beckett," Esposito tells her, turning away from Ryan.

Beckett sighs in relief, hoping that maybe the break in conversation would clear the air. This slight-quarrel is not concerning to Beckett; they've had worse arguments. But, she'd still rather them making sex eyes and stealing kisses all day long, rather than giving each other the cold shoulder. Already as she watches them walk side by side to the interrogation rooms, she can see they're keeping more space between them than they usually would.

But her smile returns when she sees Espo open the door to Interrogation and let Ryan walk in first. Sure, Ryan would try to stay mad at his partner, but at the rate they are going, Beckett doesn't think he'll last into tomorrow. Beckett notices Castle's smile, so she guesses that he saw as well. He proves to be just as much of a gentleman as Esposito is and opens the door to observation room for her.

Once inside, they see that Ryan and Esposito have already started their questioning their vic's boyfriend.

"Hey, I know my rights! So, how about you tell me why the hell I'm here." The young man, Carlos Sanders, is shouting at the two detectives.

Esposito takes a seat in front of him, next to Ryan. He smirks and says, "Let's start with your felony charge of assaulting a member of the NYPD."

Sanders scoffs. "Oh, come on! I barely touched him! He should have addressed himself as the police before chasing after me."

Esposito growls and leans forward about to chew off his ear, but Ryan elbows him. "Maybe if you were listening instead of running, you'd have heard me," Ryan shoots back with a glare.

Sanders narrows his eyes and stares back at Ryan. "Really? Because all I heard was 'oink, oink, _oink_."

Castle is impressed when Esposito is able to keep himself quiet. Usually he doesn't hesitate to teach any dirtbag a lesson when they call his team pigs. Castle can't blame him because even he gets furious when perps act disrespectful like this.

Ryan, on the other hand, while he is still angered by it, he doesn't let it show. "Are you hiding something? Is that why you feel the need to run away from the police?"

Sanders starts to yell, loudly in Spanish. Ryan doesn't understand what he's saying and it doesn't bother him. But Esposito _can_ understand him and it does bother him. He growls and ignoring Ryan's request he snarls right back, "Hey, watch your fucking mouth. Next time you talk to my partner like that, I'll be busting your head through that glass."

Sander's eyes flicker over to Esposito, clearly not expecting either to understand his list of rude epithets. He rolls his eyes and says, "Can I just figure out what the hell you want from me so I can leave?"

"Right after we book you for assault _and_ murder? Sure thing, buddy," Esposito says sarcastically.

Immediately, Sanders eyes widen when he hears that. "What are you talking about? I didn't kill nobody!"

Ryan smiles and leans back on his chair. "Not such a wise guy now, huh? Because you murdered your girlfriend and we caught you?"

Sanders sits up straighter. "What? No, I didn't kill her, man! I didn't even know she was dead…" Sanders trails off, a pained look in his eye.

"I'm sorry, what? I only speak _pig,_ " Ryan says flatly, enjoying watching Sanders grow more frantic.

"I wouldn't kill my girlfriend. I _love_ her." His wide eyes flicker between Esposito and Ryan, willing them to believe him.

"Then why were you running? Only guilty people run." Esposito watches satisfactorily at how Sanders is squirming in his seat.

"Listen, okay? I knew you guys were cops- I thought Gina's dad called the cops on me- and _that's_ why I ran." He runs a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"And why would your girlfriend's father call the police on you?" Esposito asks, with feigned interest.

"He didn't want me dating his daughter-"

"I wonder why," Ryan says sarcastically.

Sanders ignores him and continues, "She was only 17 and I'm 19, for one. And he thought she could do much better." Sanders sighs deeply. "But we were in love and we were going to run away together. So last week, she was supposed to steal a few g's from her father. He's so filthy rich that it wouldn't damage his bank too much, you know...But he found out before we could take anything. He was pretty peeved at us."

"So you're telling us that her father killed her?" Esposito doesn't believe it; he thinks Sanders is just trying to get the attention off of him. Ryan and Esposito interviewed her father yesterday and he didn't look one bit suspicious; he was honest to God, rightfully upset at the news of his daughter's murder.

"All I'm saying is that you're looking at the wrong guy. When was she...k-killed? I can give you an alibi," Sanders offers, but doesn't look happy at all that his girlfriend was killed.

"Wednesday night somewhere between 9:30-11."

Sanders thinks back to Wednesday night and when he remembers his whereabouts, he snaps his fingers. "The movies! I was watching a movie in one of those old theatres from 9-12 and then went out with some friends afterwards. You can call them or check with the movie theatre."

"We will," Esposito promises as he stacks his loose papers together.

"Does that mean I can leave now? I gave you everything- I didn't kill her. You gotta believe me," he pleads, almost pathetically.

Ryan and Esposito both stand up and head towards the door. Just before they leave, Esposito smirks down at him. "Sure, you can go. Just after you clear your felony charges." With that, they both leave the room, ignoring Sander's loud, obnoxious complaining.

Ryan turns to the officer standing by the door. "Book him."

Beckett and Castle meet them halfway back to their desk cluster. "I want to talk to Gina's father again, since he told us _nothing_ strange was going on with his daughter."

"Ryan and I will go talk with him," Esposito offers, already grabbing his coat.

"Do you really think he would kill his own _daughter_?" Castle asks softly, afraid of the answer.

"No," Beckett says without hesitation. "But, I don't think he told us everything he knows. So let's nail him."

"Got it." Ryan walks ahead to his desk to grab his own coat.

Castle grabs Esposito's arm before he can follow. Esposito looks at him expectantly and Castle says quietly, "Hey, nice holding your tongue back there." Castle figures that Espo should get some acknowledgement for what he's doing for Ryan.

"Thanks," Esposito replies and goes to turn around, but Castle doesn't let go.

"Listen, Ryan doesn't mean what he's saying. He's just feeling frustrated right now." He lets go of Espo's arm now that he has his attention. "Beckett gets cross with me for the same reason; when I tend to worry about her too much. But...what you're doing -what Ryan calls overprotective- don't stop. Even if he's mad, which I really don't think he is, being protective is a good thing. It's how we keep 'em alive." He ends his advice with a small smile.

"Yeah...I know." Esposito agrees. "I also know that sometimes I can lose my mind when something happens to him because I care. _I can't help it_."

Castle pats Esposito's shoulder. "And that's good and I know he likes when you defend his honor. He just doesn't want to admit it."

Esposito is about to say something back when Ryan calls Esposito from the elevator. "Javi, you coming?"

Esposito smiles at Ryan's voice; he sounds much less hostile than he did earlier. Castle gives him a thumb-up before Esposito turns around to join Ryan at the elevator. Once inside and after the doors shut, Esposito feels Ryan shift closer so that their arms are touching. Ryan doesn't close the gap between their hands, like Espo normally expects, but he's not going to complain.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Detectives, but Mr. Hughes is not in today," the receptionist informs Ryan and Esposito when they reach the front desk of Gina's father's building.

"Of course," Esposito grumbles under his breath.

"I will let him know that you were looking for him, when he returns," she says politely, doing her best to accommodate the detectives.

Esposito shakes his head. "That won't be necessary. We need to speak to him today, so we'll go see if he's at home."

"Oh, okay," she says. "Well, let me know if there's anything else I can help you with."

"Thank you," Ryan says before putting his badge back on his hip. Esposito turns around and follows him towards the exit of the lobby. They're quiet as they exit the building and make their way down to the parking garage. It's no different than drive over. Esposito misses Ryan, but he knows by tonight he'll back to normal. They didn't park very far, but the silence is making the walk seem much longer.

Ryan doesn't like giving Esposito the silent treatment, especially when he didn't do anything _wrong_ in the first place. His favorite part of every day is spending time with his boyfriend, but that's hard to enjoy through all the tension.

Voices from just beyond the row of cars next to him disrupts his thoughts. Ryan stops walking and watches as none other than Grant Hughes steps into a black SUV. Two tall and buff bodyguards are about to enter the vehicle and Ryan knows that if Hughes gets away in that car and is hiding something, he'll definitely disappear into the wind. So without giving it a second of thought, Ryan runs over to the car, shouting, "Mr. Hughes, wait!"

Grant doesn't exit the SUV, but the bodyguard that is half in, half out of the open back door pulls his foot back to the concrete. Ryan reaches under his coat to grab his badge, but suddenly there's a fist connecting to his face. His head whips to the side with a grunt, but Ryan immediately reaches for his gun. Unfortunately, immediately isn't fast enough and Ryan takes another blow to his stomach.

Gritting his teeth, Ryan grabs the next fist about to be thrown and twists back the bodyguard's wrist. He catches the brute off guard and he crumbles to his knees, leaning against the tinted window of the SUV. Ryan put even more pressure on his wrist when he growls, "NYPD."

The man in his grip goes lax when he hears this, but Ryan doesn't loosen his hold on him. "I didn't-!"

"Hey! What the hell is going on?" Esposito arrives at Ryan's side with his gun raised, breathing more heavily than normal.

"Hughes' in the car," Ryan tells Esposito as he pulls the bodyguard's other hand behind to back so he can fit the handcuffs around his wrists.

Esposito spares a worried glance to his partner before approaching the open car door. He peeks inside and sees another bodyguard holding back his wealthy boss. When Hughes recognizes Esposito, he shoves the larger man away from him. "Stop, Rodgers, these men are the detectives working my daughter's case."

Esposito lowers his gun and steps back, allowing Hughes to exit the SUV. The businessman looks over to where one of his bodyguards is being handcuffed by a swollen faced Ryan. "I apologize. This is a misunderstanding."

The man being arrested nods his head and explains, "I didn't realize you're a detective, honestly. I saw you reaching under your coat and reacted. It's my job."

Ryan releases his tight grip on the bound man's wrist before he securely locks them in place. This guy isn't like that Sanders dirtbag; he was defending his boss unlike Sanders who pushed him around just because he's a member of the NYPD. "Next time, give me a chance to show my badge before you throw a sucker punch or two."

The man nods and rubs his wrist. "Understood. It's just that with his daughter having been murdered, it's better to be safe than sorry."

Esposito doesn't really care about his excuse; he gets right down to business. "Mr. Hughes, why didn't you tell us that you caught Gina stealing from you?"

Hughes eyebrows furrow. "That was a week ago. I didn't really think it was important. Besides, I caught on before she could."

"You didn't think it was important to mention that your daughter tried to steal money from you to run away with a guy that _you_ didn't improve of." Esposito isn't easily convinced.

Hughes sighs. "I didn't approve...but it's not really my place to say. It's her life and if he makes her happy then who am I to deny her? I told her to wait until she turned 18 and that she couldn't disappear with him. If she listened, then I'd support her."

"But?" Ryan asks, sensing the unspoken question.

"But, I guess I was too late because only yesterday did I make that deal...A week later...She probably died _hating_ me," Hughes says brokenly with the pain clearly visible in his eyes.

"She's your daughter and you both care deeply for one another. There's no way she could have hated you. No matter what, she'll always love you." Ryan meets Esposito's eyes when he softly says the last sentence.

* * *

The moment that Esposito and Ryan walk through the elevator into the bullpen, Esposito grabs his partner's arm and says, "C'mon, we're putting ice on your eye."

Ryan rolls his eyes, but allows himself to be dragged into the breakroom. Once inside, Esposito grabs an ice pack from the refrigerator and pushes it to Ryan's bruising eye. He hisses and tries to push the cold away, but Esposito shakes his head.

"Javi, it's just a black eye."

"Uh-huh, and your ribs are going to be sore later." Esposito allows Ryan to hold the ice himself. "God, Ryan, what the hell were you thinking? One second you were behind me and then the next you weren't."

"I told you I saw him-."

" _No_ , you didn't, Kevin! All I saw was some dude a foot taller than you punching you across the face. And I couldn't stop it because I didn't know you left." Esposito's voice starts to raise in anger.

Ryan bites the inside of his cheek to keep quiet. He thought he called out to Esposito before he sprinted away, but now that he thinks about it, Ryan can't remember saying anything to his partner before taking off. "I'm sorry-."

"I don't want to hear your, 'I'm sorry', Kevin. I want you to stop being such a stubborn idiot for one second. I don't know why you're so against me having your back!" Esposito snaps and Ryan knows he definitely pushed one of his boyfriend's buttons because he _never_ snaps at him.

"That's not it!" Ryan shouts back, slamming the ice pack down on the table. "I just want to show you that I can handle myself. Like today, I took him down!"

"I know you can handle yourself!"

"Then why won't you let me? Why do I always have to be the weak one?"

Esposito growls and leans right into Ryan's personal space. "I'm _tired_ of hearing you say that. What if you're not the one these assholes are trying to get to? Did you ever think about that?"

"Who else would they be-?"

Esposito yells, loudly, " _Me!_ " Ryan goes silent as he stares at his partner; Esposito never raised his voice like that to him before. Esposito looks into his wide blue eyes and sighs. "Earlier, I said we all have weaknesses. Do you know what my greatest weakness is?" Ryan still doesn't say a word, so Esposito continues, "You, Kevin. _You are my greatest weakness_. When we're out there, the only thing in my mind is to keep you safe."

"Javi," Ryan softens his voice.

" _No_ , let me finish," Esposito says firmly. "When Lockwood kidnapped us and he started drowning you...that was the hardest thing thing for me to do...to watch him hurting you and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. He _knew_ that it would kill me. I don't care if it's you against the weakest son of a bitch out there; I will always worry about you, Kevin Ryan. Because I _love_ you and me being an overprotective psycho is just something you'll have to learn to deal with." Esposito looks at Ryan's bruised and swollen eye and takes a shaky breath. "Right now, you're hurt _because of me_. So if you ask me to step back one more time, I can tell you right now your answer is going to be a big, fat 'no'."

"Javi, you can't-"

"No! I would die for you!"

"And so would I!"

"I know! And that means that you know why I do the things I do." Esposito steps back from his partner and tries to get his breathing back under control.

"I'm sorry, Javi," Ryan says, looking down at his feet.

"Do you even realize why we're fighting? _Because_ I love you so much." Esposito turns around to drag a hand down his face.

"We're not fighting," Ryan whispers.

Esposito laughs dryly. "Then what _are_ we doing?"

"Disagreeing...loudly…" Ryan looks through the break room window where they can see they've caught the attention of the attention of the bullpen again.

"Well, you know what…?" Esposito asks, shakily. "I'm tired of disagreeing with you. I want my Kevin back so whenever you're ready to let me protect you, just let me know because there's not a chance in hell I'm ever letting anything like that happen to you again." Esposito stalks out of the break room, leaving Ryan behind lost in guilt, confusion and regret as he angrily wipes a tear off his cheek.

* * *

The tension radiating off of Ryan and Esposito ever since their 'conversation' in the break room they had after Ryan came back with a black eye, was unbearable to everyone surrounding them. With a sigh, Beckett decides that it'd be best to call it quits tonight. "We'll start tomorrow off with looking through her financials to see if she managed to take anything even after she was caught. Is she was careful, I don't think he'd notice a few hundred missing."

"Alright," Esposito says from his desk.

Castle and Beckett also noticed that the boys have been keeping distance between each other. Ryan is currently moping behind Castle; ever since Ryan left the break room a few minutes after Esposito, he trailed behind Castle looking like a kicked puppy.

Beckett shakes her head at the two. They need to sort out their issue because they are both _miserable_ and she hates it.

Esposito stands up and waits for Ryan to start walking towards the elevator before he begins following. He casts an uneasy glance to where Ryan has a hand placed over his stomach; his ribs no doubt bothering him. They enter the elevator side by side and Beckett can see Ryan and Esposito taking turns staring at one another regretfully when the other isn't looking. But no matter how cliche they are, it hurts all the much to watch it and she can only imagine how the boys must be feeling.

Slipping her phone from her pocket, she sends Ryan a quick message that reads, _Don't be too hard on him._ She doesn't get a text back that night, but she hopes for their sake that they get past it soon.

* * *

All night, in Ryan and Esposito's small apartment, the drop of a pin could be heard. They haven't spoken since their escalated yelling in the break room. Esposito went straight to working on dinner and Ryan set the table. Even at dinner, they ate in silence.

Now, as Esposito washes their dinner plates, Ryan announces softly that he's going to head to bed. Maybe he'll be able to sleep off this painful, empty feeling his chest. Esposito promises he'll follow soon, but he doesn't sound too eager to.

Ryan sighs with a nod and walks down the hall. He enters their dark bedroom and doesn't bother to turn on the light as he strips out of his clothes. He doesn't even bother to pick them up before he tucks himself under the blankets.

Now that he's alone, the day's events keep swirling around in his mind and the words of their fight echo in his ears. He's alone and if there's one thing Kevin Ryan knows is that he doesn't like to be alone, especially when the love of his life is just a few steps away. But he can't. No matter how much he wants to kiss Javier or be in his arms or let him rub the pain away from his ribs or even hear his voice, _he just can't_.

He lies awake, waiting for Esposito to join him in bed, for what seems like an hour, but he never comes in. Ryan hopes that he's just lost in thought outside and not sleeping on the couch; that would break Kevin's heart.

As the minutes drag by, Ryan's need to be with his boyfriend increases. But Ryan knows that's not an option right now. Because he's mad at Javier. Or maybe now because Javier is mad at him. God, he made such a mess of something so stupid. He desperately wants to apologize to Javier, but he doesn't want him to continue mother henning him.

He's sending Esposito _and_ himself such mixed feelings because he loves when Javier gets possesive and protective over him. It's heart-warming to see how much he means to his partner. But he doesn't appreciate it as much when Esposito does so while they're trying to take down their suspect. Esposito needs to understand this.

Turning again in bed, Ryan tries to find a position that won't upset his ribs. He cringes when he thinks back to the scuffle in the parking garage. During times like those, Ryan can't really blame Esposito for getting so worried. In all honesty, Ryan could have all the training that the NYPD offers, but it will do nothing to help him in a fight against a perp that towers past 6' and weighs over 200lbs. It's just not possible for all 5'7 (when Esposito asked, 5'10) of Kevin Ryan to win those fights no matter how hard he tries.

The only reason Esposito wins those fights is because he has Special Forces Military training and he has the ability to become the Hulk when someone threatens Kevin. Ryan can easily take down someone bigger than him if they were threatening Javier. But his partner never gives him the chance to throw a punch before Esposito has him on the ground. Surely, Esposito would feel the same as Ryan does if he took down every perp that looked at Espo the wrong way before he could.

Or maybe Ryan is just blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Ryan exhales another sigh, rethinking their entire situation when he hears the door creak open. Ryan snaps his eyes shut before he hears Esposito whisper into the dark room, "Kev, you still awake?"

Ryan knows he needs to apologize, but he cowers out and stays silent. He listens to Esposito slowly shut the door behind him, careful not to 'wake up' Ryan. A moment later, he climbs into bed next to him. Ryan tries to keep his breathing calm and spaced out so Esposito can't tell he's faking.

Now that Esposito is only a few inches from him, it hurts to stay away from him. Ryan is two seconds from giving in and tucking himself close in his partner's arms, but Esposito beats him to it. He inches closer to him and wraps his arms slowly around Ryan's waist so he can pull him against his chest.

It's hard to stay 'sleeping' when he hears Javier whisper in his ear, "I'm so sorry, corazon."

Ryan feels his heart stutter; he did not expect Javier to be the one to apologize first. Ryan should be the one apologizing for how he treated him. But Ryan doesn't want him to know he's awake and ruin the moment, so he keeps his eyes shut.

Silently, Javier lifts his head off the pillow to place a soft kiss at the corner of Ryan's swollen eye. Already Ryan can feel the pain slipping away. Ryan then feels Javier place a warm hand over his ribs and he caresses the bruises.

"I'm so sorry," he repeats. Only this time it sounds like he's holding back tears, but that's impossible because _Javier Esposito doesn't cry._ "Forgive me, baby."

Ryan wants to turn around in his boyfriend's arms and scream that he was never _really_ mad at Esposito. He only made a mistake. A really big fucking mistake. But his body doesn't want to cooperate so it stays rock still.

Esposito kisses Ryan's cheek softly and lingers for an extra second before he lays back down. Esposito pulls him closer, if that's even possible, and keeps his arms secured around Ryan. He smiles, feeling safe here in Javier's arms. No other time in his entire life, does Ryan ever feel as cherished and protected as he does when he's with Javier.

And if sometimes Ryan has to let his partner make him like a freaking damsel in distress to keep Javier close. Then so be it.

He would do anything to be able to kiss Javier every night.

* * *

The next morning, Esposito wakes up and Ryan is still asleep in his arms. He wishes he could pause time at this moment so he could enjoy this forever. Or maybe he wishes they weren't fighting so he could look forward to watching those blue eyes open.

He thinks that maybe he can close his eyes and to pretend to be asleep when Ryan wakes up. But, then his phone starts to beep annoyingly signalling he has an incoming call. Ryan shifts in his arms and Esposito groans. Before Ryan can wake up and see Esposito so close when they're supposed to be mad at each other, he rolls away from Ryan and towards his nightstand. Reaching out a blind hand, he grabs his phone and swipes his finger across the screen to answer the call. "Hello?"

"Espo!" Castle's loud voice comes booming through the speaker. "I think I know who the killer is! Meet us at the precinct in 10!" Before Esposito can tell Castle to piss off because there's no way he's getting Ryan up and dressed in 10 minutes, the writer hangs up.

Mumbling under his breath, Esposito tosses the phone back on the nightstand and flops back down on his pillow. It's already past 6 and Esposito knows that they have to be out of the house in under a half hour, but he doesn't want to go back to work where he has to pretend to be mad at Ryan and keep his distance.

Ryan moans next to him turns to face him. Esposito watches as Ryan's face scrunches in slight pain when he obviously puts too much pressure on his bruised ribs. His eyes flutter open and they immediately lock onto Esposito's. The Irishman's lips upturn slightly at the sight of his boyfriend next to him, but it disappears before Esposito can blink.

He's really tired of this.

"Castle called...we gotta get into work." Esposito says, disappointment lacing his words that Ryan felt the need to dampen his smile.

"Okay," Ryan whispers.

Esposito can't stand to be this close to Kevin, but so far at the same time so he throws the comforter off of his body. He grabs his clothes from the closet and stalks into the bathroom without another word.

Once again Ryan is left behind drowning in the pain.

* * *

"What was so important that had you waking my ass up this morning, Castle?" Esposito snaps as he throws his jacket down on his desk.

Castle looks at his phone impatiently. "You guys are late."

"No, our shift starts at 7 and it's only 6:50," Esposito says.

Castle rolls his eyes and decides to drop it; he won't win this argument with Esposito. "Okay, so I was thinking how weird it was that Grant Hughes would suddenly approve of his daughter's dirtbag boyfriend. As a father, I know that day would never come, unless-."

"Just get to it, Castle." Esposito doesn't want to hear the whole shebang; he's cranky and just wants to get this case over with so he can fix things with Ryan.

"I'm am," Castle huffs. "Anyway, a father would never do something like that unless it meant that he would never speak with his daughter again. Now of course, after time, she would probably find an actual _human being_ to date...but what if Grant didn't have time for that?"

"What? Like he was dying?" Ryan asks, his nose scrunched up in confusion.

" _Yes!_ " Castle exclaims and starts to tap his nose. "What if he knows he has something terminal? He has a few weeks left with his daughter...would he want to spend them fighting?"

"So how does this help us?" Esposito asks, looking over at Beckett to see if she's following. Just seeing that she's sitting in her chair looking as calm as ever, he guesses that Castle already shared his theory with her.

"We checked his financials this morning and sure enough, Hughes has been going to the doctor frequently for the past few months. Now, obviously Gina didn't know her father was dying, otherwise she would have waited until he passed to use her share of the money she'd rightfully get from the will. But what if someone else knew that he was dying?" Castle is getting more and more excited as he explains his theory.

"The brother has an alibi...he was at his friend's house all night," Ryan says, checking his notes.

"Alibis can be bought," Castle quickly reminds him. "I called the doctor's office and asked who was with him during his appointments and it was none other than Carter Hughes."

Esposito perks up in his seat. "So, maybe somehow he knew his sister was trying to steal money and didn't want to lose his share of the family fortune," he concludes.

Castle smirks and crosses his arms over his chest proudly. "Exactly."

Ryan is the first to stand up. "Then what are we waiting for?" Castle nods excitedy and tugs Ryan's arm towards the elevator.

Esposito takes his time and sticks by Beckett. She casts a sideways glance at him and asks, "Didn't work it out last night?"

Esposito shakes his head. "I was thinking about it for an hour last night before bed. I was just gonna apologize and admit that maybe I'm a little too overbearing. But he was asleep and I just can't get the words out. I wish he would let me keep on doing it, you know? I don't mean to hurt him...it just makes me feel a little better and taking it out on the perps helps me cool down."

"Just explain it to him, Espo. I'm sure he'll understand and then you two can get past this." Beckett pats his arm and smiles. "Now, come on. Let's go get this son of a bitch."

Out in the parking lot, they decide to take one car. Beckett hops in the driver's seat and Esposito slides into the passenger seat, ignoring Castle's complaints about calling shotgun. He can feel Ryan's eyes burning holes in the back of his head and he makes the mistake of looking in the rearview mirror and sees the hurt crowding in Ryan's eyes. He doesn't look back the entire drive to Carter's apartment building.

* * *

"He's 409," Beckett reminds them as they walk through the lobby. The other three nod as they walk briskly to the polished elevator doors by the large chandelier. It's obvious that Carter has lived off his father's money all his life. No wonder he'd go to such extremes just for a few extra thousand dollars.

They enter the large elevator and Beckett readies her gun while she tells Castle, "I want you staying behind us, okay?" Their kevlar vest can't protect them from everything.

"Got it," Castle says without one protest. Once the doors open at the fourth floor, he lets the other three walk out first.

They get to his door soon enough and Beckett doesn't hesitate before pounding. "Carter! It's the NYPD, we have a few questions for you."

Carter doesn't say anything, but they can hear faint shuffling around inside. Beckett exchanges a look with Esposito before they both nod. With a swift kick, Esposito has the door exploding off its hinges.

They don't see him, but some of his furniture is overturned and unfortunately the apartment looks spacious. "Split up and call if you find him." Beckett raises her gun as she heads towards the kitchen.

Ryan slips into the guest bedroom and looks around. Nothing looks to be messed up, but he has to clear every nook and cranny just to be safe. He checks under the bed and sees nothing except for a few shoeboxes. Next he slowly makes his way to the closet. He has to be careful because he knows that it's most likely a walk-in so there's room for Carter to hide.

He opens the door with one hand and keeps his gun trained in front of him with the other. The inside is dim, but before his eyes can adjust, a figure comes running out and slams his body directly into Ryan. His misses the foot of the bed by no more than a few inches and he falls to the hardwood floor with a thump. He has to get his breath back before he can call out for help; Carter knocked the wind right out of him.

Carter is still on top of him and quickly wraps his hands around Ryan's neck. His grip is tight and Ryan gasps as he tries to pry the hands off his throat. The part where he can't breath and his vision starts to go blurry doesn't scare him, the scariest thing is Carter's face. He doesn't look like he's about to let go; he looks like he's trying to choke the life out of Ryan quickly before his backup comes rushing through the door.

 _His backup_. God, if Ryan hadn't been such an idiot, Esposto would have probably been in here right now. Now Ryan had to fight this battle himself; that's his problem: he always expects Esposito to come to his rescue.

Summoning whatever strength he had left and the sheer will to keep living, Ryan makes a fist with his hand and sends the most forceful punch he can muster into Carter's ribcage. Taken by surprise, Carter lets go of Ryan's neck so now he is able to suck in a huge breath of air.

Carter is momentarily on the ground, favoring his stomach, but Ryan isn't off the hook yet. He still feels dizzy and his throat is killing him. Huffing past a cough, Ryan attempts to yell, "J-Javi!" He isn't sure how loud it is or even if it's even loud at all.

That seems to get Carter off his knees and he pounces onto Ryan again. This time it's a little harder, and Ryan's more light headed than he was when he started the search, so Carter easily knocks him off his feet. With Ryan's luck, instead of his back colliding with the wall, he smashes through the glass door to a small porch outlooking the busy New York street. "Fuck," Ryan curses as the glass shatters around him and his spine rams into the metal railing.

Carter goes again to grab Ryan's neck, but this time he's ready and secures his hands around the murderer's wrists. Carter struggles against him and shoves Ryan dangerously backwards; his upper torso now leaning over the railing. Ryan grits his teeth and manages to spin their positions around so that he's no longer the one falling over the edge, threatening to fall four stories.

"Kevin!"

His partner's voice grabs his attention and he turns away from the man in his grip. Using the distraction to his advantage, Carter smirks and grabs Ryan's coat firmly. Esposito can see the smirk and his heart drops when he realizes what he's about to do. Ryan whips his head back to Carter when he feels the pressure on his arm. "What-?"

Before Esposito can stop him, Carter launches himself over the side of the railing with Ryan right by his side. Esposito drops his gun to the floor and dives to the railing. He leans over the side until he's afraid he'll fall and reaches for Ryan's outstretched hand as he falls. Esposito quickly grabs at it, but is careful because if he misses this then Ryan's gone.

When Esposito squeezes his hand shut, he almost cries when he feels Ryan's hand in his. He gets dragged even more over the edge and the railing is digging painfully into his stomach, but Esposito doesn't care about anything else other than bringing Ryan back up.

"Grab on with your other hand!" Esposito yells even though Ryan is only an arm's length away.

"I can't," Ryan gasps, his eyes are wide and full of panic.

Esposito looks down at his partner's side and sees why he's so much heavier than expected; Carter is holding onto Ryan's hand. Esposito narrows his eyes at the man clinging to his boyfriend for his life and Esposito knows that if Carter doesn't let go soon then he is going to lose Kevin.

"Kick the motherfucker off, Kevin," Esposito growls, gripping Ryan's wrist with his other hand.

Ryan nods numbly and uses one foot to kick at Carter's chest. Esposito feels Ryan slip a bit in his hands and he curses under his breath. Ryan must feel it too because his head whips back to Esposito and then to their sweaty, slipping hold.

"Get him off," Esposito says through his clenched teeth.

Ryan turns back to the man dragging him down. One last time, Ryan pulls back his foot as best as he can and sends his foot directly to Carter's crotch. That does the trick, thankfully, and with a gasp of pain, Carter lets go and then falls down, in slow motion almost, until he slams into the concrete below.

Ryan looks down and sees what a big fall it is; around 40 feet and Carter didn't look to be moving. Suddenly the ground looked hundreds of stories away. His heart quickens and it gets harder to breath again.

"Kevin, look at me." Esposito's voice drags his attention away from his awaiting death. Kevin complies and Javier's warm brown eyes calm him. "Give me your hand."

Oh right, Ryan almost forgot. He raises his now free arm and lets Esposito grab it. Although now they at least have a stronger hold, Ryan can still feel himself slipping. "Javi, I-,"

"Espo!" Beckett yells, coming to the window. She steps over the broken glass with a worried look and stops at Esposito's side. Her gaze follows his arms over the railing and she sees Ryan hanging on just barely. She turned to the broken window and screamed, "Castle, call for back-up!" Before she wraps her arms around Esposito's waist to keep him from toppling over the edge.

"What happened?" Castle's voice floods the balcony. He sees Ryan dangling to his pending doom and he gasps before dialing 911 and informing the operator of their situation.

Ryan's eyes are flicking back and forth between all the commotion above him. But, as always, Javier keeps him grounded. "I've got you, Kevin."

"Don't let go," Ryan says, with a slight whimper. It's a stupid thought, he knows that Esposito would throw himself over the side before he let go. He didn't even know he was crying until he feels the tears trailing down into his ears because of the angle his head is on.

"I won't, baby." Esposito promises with an empty laugh. "I'll get you back up here, just-."

"I'm sorry, Javi," Ryan interrupts him, shaking his head. His tears are now flowing out of the corner of his eyes, but you wouldn't be able to tell he was crying except for the slight hitch in his voice. "I didn't mean it...I _want_ you to protect me. I love it, I just didn't want you to think I'm a burden."

"Kevin-," Esposito stops when Ryan slips further in his grip. "Why would you think that?"

Ryan stares at their hands before looking back up at Esposito. "I don't know," he admits. "I was stupid."

Esposito narrows his eyes and tried to fix his grip on Ryan's hands before he falls. "Damn straight. I love you and I'm gonna be worrying over your ass until the wheels fall off. You hear me?"

Ryan nods his head a few times, but stays silent. He feels his fingers slipping in Esposito's grip and he knows that he won't be able to hold on much longer. Not a moment after that thought, Ryan feels his hand fall from Esposito and he shouts. Esposito lurches even further over the railing to grab his hand again and Beckett keeps him on the balcony. "Help is coming, Kevin."

Ryan looks below his dangling feet and says, "Javi, I can't hold on much longer."

Immediately, he feels Esposito's tight grip squeeze even tighter. "Yes, you are. I'm getting you back up here."

"No, Javi, you're going to fall if you move any more...it's my fault I'm here. I thought I could handle myself, but-"

"But you did a great job, Kevin Ryan. So start spewing this shit. I'm not dropping you."

"Javi...you gotta or I'll drag you down. Maybe I'll fall to the lower balconies," Ryan says,but Esposito notices that his grip is as tight as ever.

"Don't be an idiot, Kevin, look at where Carter landed-you know what? Don't look, just trust me-you're not getting out of a fall better than him. So stop trying to be a fucking hero." Esposito rolls his eyes. He hopes that emergency services gets here soon because his stomach is in flames where it's pressed into the metal railing and not only are their hands slick from sweat, but he was losing his strength and fast.

"I don't want to be a hero." Ryan shakes his head. "I want to give you a kiss. Ever since you asked for one yesterday. I lied. I wanted to kiss you so badly."

"I'll make you a deal, corazon, you make it up here and I'll give you all the kisses you want." Esposito leans down as close as he can without causing any strain on Beckett.

"I wish I took the rope in gym class more seriously." Ryan can't pull himself up and if he had all of his strength he could probably make it half way and Esposito and Castle could pull him up the rest of the way.

"This is better, instead of a bell to ring at the top, you've got my lips to kiss-" Esposito voice halts when one of Ryan's hands slip from his grip. " _Kevin_!"

Ryan gasps as he dangles and clutches to the hand that he's left with. He tries to grab Esposito's hands again, but he can't lift it up again. "Javi!"

"I got you. I got you," he assures Ryan, but he's not doing a very good job convincing himself.

"How much...longer till...help come?" Ryan asks between grunts as he tries to lift himself up.

"We're gonna try something, okay? I don't think we have until they get here. Us three are going to pull and when we get you up enough, grab the rail." Esposito looks into Ryan's eyes, the blue like an ocean of fear.

"I'll, I'll try," Ryan says as he nods his head.

"That's my boy," Esposito smiles. He looks down and makes sure that Ryan is ready before he turns around to Castle and Beckett. "We lift in 3. 1, 2, 3!" He yells as he tugs on Ryan's arm, he notices his partner winces, but they can deal with sore muscles, they can't deal with a detective pancake.

Ryan is lifted a few inches and he thinks that's enough for him to grab onto the railing, but just as he lifts his hand, he falls back down and for a moment he thinks that he lost Esposito's grip. He opens his eyes that squeezed shut during the false scare.

Esposito is looking down at him with wide worried eyes as Beckett chides him. "Esposito, you have to be more careful. Steady, even pace or else he'll never get over."

"Javi...we've got one shot left," Ryan warns him and now that his partner mentions it, he can tell that their grip is the weakest it's been and they don't have much longer.

Esposito nods and slowly, _very slowly_ , he starts to lift Ryan up. It's the most taxing thing he's done in a while; his muscles are aching and his nerves are raw. He wishes he could rewind back to this morning and apologize _then_. Maybe they'd still be 'making up' and accidentally 'sleep' through work. Then they wouldn't be going through this.

But they are. So Esposito has to focus on now and getting his partner back, safe and sound in his arms.

He tries to keep his breathing even as he pulls Ryan up so he doesn't disrupt their progress; Ryan was inches away from reaching the top of the railing. To help him stay calm and not suddenly pull Ryan up the last few inches and cause Ryan to jerk back in surprise and let go, Esposito chants the promise he made Ryan over and over in his head like it was his dying wish. _Once he's safe, you get your kiss. Once he's safe, you get your kiss._

The pang of metal disrupts Esposito from his thoughts and he sees that Ryan has hit foot wedged in between the vertical rungs surrounding the balcony and his hand stumbles to grab the railing. Esposito quickly goes to action and wraps one arm under Ryan's shoulders before he drags Ryan the rest of the way over.

Castle and Beckett step out of the way as they fall to the balcony floor in each other's arms. Ryan's clinging tight to Esposito and Esposito soothingly rubs his back as he whispers in his ear, "You're safe now, corazon. You're safe."

Ryan nods, but doesn't dare loosen his grip on Esposito's vest. There's so much in his mind, so much he wants to say, but all that he can get out is, "Javi."

"I'm right here, baby." Esposito plants a kiss on the side of Ryan's head since his face is buried in his neck.

Ryan clings tighter to him. "Don't let go.

Esposito closes his eyes and smiles. "I didn't then, I won't now. I'll hold onto you forever."

* * *

Ryan looks at the ring of bruises around his throat and frowns. He traces his pale fingers delicately over the darker skin; his neck doesn't hurt like it did in the midst of being choked, but it is definitely sore.

The pain, though, Ryan can deal with; compared to the part where he almost plummeted to his death, his bruised neck is nothing. It's the staring that bothers him. When they got back to their apartment and the shock was wearing off, Esposito noticed the bruises encircling his throat. Ever since then, his eyes always fell to his neck.

At first, he was kind of pleased because every time Esposito saw the bruises, he would glare at them like they offended him and then shower Ryan with kisses. Now though, Ryan just wanted to be with his boyfriend without his eyes gazing down to his neck when they were talking.

Maybe if he dims the lights when he exits the bathroom, then Esposito will momentarily forget. That's a little too optimistic. He sighs and doesn't want to be alone in the bathroom any longer so he goes back into their shared bedroom. Esposito is already under the blankets waiting for him. Ryan smiles softly.

He slips under the blankets next to Javier and snuggles next to him. Javier immediately wraps his arms around him. Ryan likes how perfectly he molds into his boyfriend. Javier absently kisses the top of his head, but remains quiet. He knows that Esposito is probably thinking about today and yesterday and wants to talk about it, but Ryan is happy to just enjoy being each other's arms.

"I know it's still there…" Esposito whispers.

Ryan pauses, piecing together what he means and then sighs. "Javi, I'm okay."

"I know, but everytime I see the bruises, it just reminds me that I couldn't protect you-and I _know_ that it bothers you, but I can't help it." He begins to stroke small circles on Ryan's hand.

"Bothered."

"What?"

"It _bothered_ me...but now I know, you know, _why_ it matters so much to you." Ryan places a small kiss to Javier's chin before continuing. "This wasn't even your fault and you think it's your fault. Hell, _you're_ the one that saved me."

"I should have been quicker or cleared a room closer to the one you chose."

"Javier, stop. All these 'what if's don't matter. The past is in the past and if you ask me, we spend way too much time worrying about the stupid mistakes we make. We both love each other until the end of time, we're both safe and sound and we have nothing to do except for hold each other for the next 8 hours...so let's focus on _now_." Ryan watches as Esposito slowly smiles.

"You're such a sap."

"And _you're_ such a dork."

Esposito pulls Ryan closer in his arms and dips his head down to Ryan's. "Shut up and kiss me, Kevin."

Kevin eagerly leans in and closes the gap, but he's smiling too much for the kiss to last. "Love you so much, Javi," he mumbles against Javier's lips.

"If you love me so much, then how about you stop putting yourself in danger?" Esposito replies with an amused grin.

"But if I'm not in danger then how do I get to see the overprotective side of my wonderful boyfriend."

"Life threatening situations do not bring out the protectiveness in me, it brings out the scared-out-of-my-pants part of me." Esposito says, seriously.

Ryan raises his eyebrows. "So if I scared you that badly today, then why are these still on?" Ryan tugs on the waistband of his sweatpants.

Javier smirks and kisses Kevin on his nose. "I'll tell you what, corazon, if you promise to stop giving me gray hairs...then tomorrow we'll call in sick and I'll show you just how scared I was.. _. all day long_."

"I think I'd like that." Kevin hums as he leans in for another kiss.

Javier chuckles and steals a kiss. "So do I."


End file.
